Saturday, September 10, 2011

Disney World / Back to School / Rant of the week !!

We have been extremely busy lately and i really havent had the time to post. I really need to learn to make the time to post because its an outlet for me. We left for Disney at Midnight on Friday night / Saturday morning August 26th and arrived there about 20 hours later. The car ride was HELL but we won't go there...( Family drama..)..... Disney was WONDERFUL. I can't wait to go back actually. On day 1 of Disney we had a huge family blowout but for the most part we all had a wonderful time and enjoyed seeing Magic Kingdom , Animal Kingdom and Epcot. We got to meet alot of the characters , ride alot of the ride , go shopping lol , see the lightshow , and the animals and etc. Disney has so much to do and see that i feel we didnt see it all in the week that we were there so we will go back for another week sometime in the future. I will be better prepared when we go back this time and i will not make the same mistakes as last time. We came home alittle early from Disney because of Hurricaine Irene , We arrived home on September 4th i believe...Even though we didn't want to leave it was nice to finally be home because on Tuesday the two oldest had to start Kindergarten and Preschool. Evan started Kindergarten and absolutely loves it. Hes so proud that he is finally riding the big boy bus to school and that Carissa isn't in his class again this year. He really likes his teacher and seems to be settling in really nice. Carissa started her second year of Preschool at a new Preschool and she really loves it there also. She has really nice teachers and although its harder to get her there it is well worth it. I'm just glad they are both adjusting so well. Since coming home from Florida we really havent had any contact with my family...It kinda makes me sad but then again im use to it but i just feel bad for my children because they love my family and are too young to understand it...See Family is a big part of my life and it is but around my family i'm not allowed to be me...Its like they always misunderstand me..Everyone is allowed to do whatever they want and say whatever they want but me...i because in their eyes i will forever be three years old or atleast that is how they treat me. I normally keep my mouth shut around them and about them but im sick of it and i have nothing to hide anyways.. I never get a "good job" nope just insults and complaints.treated like a deadbeat...I could do a million good things but that one bad thing will forever be thrown in my face...with my family there isnt any love, support or ANYTHING..in fact i have always felt Parentless and not part of "their" family ...This was the reason that for my entire life i always wanted MY OWN FAMILY...A big one at that..anyways im over my bitch fit and moving on to my two youngest children Caitlin and Shelby... The youngest two have colds and Caitlin still has a rash so back to the Doctors we will go to see what she says ( The rash isnt from the cold ) ....We are moving on to bigger and better things and i'm really looking forward to it...for once in my life i am FREE!!! TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Story of my life

This coming weekend is our FIRST ever family vacation. Its five days away and we STILL dont know if we are going to Disney or not which really sucks...Talk about last minute right? Story of my life. If we don't end up going now then i dont even know when to go at this point. This a.m. i was woke up to Evan and Carissa fighting and lo and behold they are STILL fighting..the yelling back and forth is driving me crazy and the more i ask them to stop and be quiet the louder they get. Time outs don't work , separating them don't work...sending them off to boarding school? Can't say that didn't cross my mind but yet some part of me still wants them here with me LOL so boarding school won't work...hmmm...Nanny 911??? We shall see..I did get a call from the casting producer..At first i laughed a good twenty to thirty minutes about it but now i am seriously considering it..I love them to death but the constant fighting , screaming and yelling is killing me. Carissa definetely has a set of lungs on her too...just goes right through you..I guess its just a work in progress but any suggestions i would love...BTW taking things away don't work because they just dont seem to care...I will finish my update later.

Friday, August 12, 2011

One heck of a week

This has been one hell of a week for me..Tuesday wasnt a bad day but the letter in the mail i got today from Tuesdays meeting is completely different than what was originally agreed on so now i am waiting on a phone call to see what the heck is going on and what is my next step..Im very upset over this but once again getting screwed over seems to be the theme of my life. Carissa's cardiologist appointment on Wednesday didnt go as planned. She had to do a twenty four hour holter moniter , we just mailed it back and are waiting to hear the results. The cardiologist said he is seeing changes in her heart which got her in to trouble to begin with so that isnt good. Im just praying to god for guidance on where to go from here with her. I am so upset , angry and confused. I wish i knew what the future held but dont we all? Shelby had a cardiologist appointment the same day as Carissa because her PCP thought she heard a heart murmer at her one year check up , well anyways the cardiologist said other than a very mild case of non compaction she is great which i am really happy about. See we never knew that our children had a chance of having heart problems until we already had Carissa..She was diagnosed at one month old and it was around then that we found out it was hereditary. I blamed myself for Carissa..thinking i should have known better , you know the should have , could have and would haves...even four years later part of me still does blame myself on some level but i also believe everything does happen for a reason. We chose to go on and have more children after Carissa because we knew the risks and every single pregnancy of mine has been watched very closely to make sure that the baby doesnt have any heart problems..We have four children right now and do want one more. Baby number five will be our last. My son Evan keeps asking for a brother so for his sake i pray for a baby boy so that there will be 3 boys and four girls instead of 2 boys and five girls...we shall see lol. Well i am off to get somethings accomplished.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Three of my beautiful children

Three of my four precious children. I love my children to death and couldn't imagine my life without them. I can't believe that in December Evan will be six years olds , Carissa will be five in February , Caitlin just turned two in May and Shelby turned one in July. It seems like if I blink I will miss it all and they will be grown and gone.
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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Just another day

I have been having an extremely difficult time falling asleep...Im either not tired or can't sleep but then when i finally fall asleep im so tired i don't want to wake up . I woke up late this morning then rushed to get everything that should have been done finished. Carissa didn't want to get up at all and missed a good portion of the day. I took the kids outside to play with the neighbors daughter Kadence. They really like playing with her. Evan's training wheel on his bike broke so i took them off and tried to teach him how to ride his bike without them..he got the basics down but isn't completely ready to do it without them. He will in time but not right now. Caitlin colored with chalk...she loves to doodle. Finally Carissa woke up and decided to join us. It was a pretty good day , the only thing missing was their Dad but thankfully he has the next two days off and im hoping we can all do something real fun instead of being stuck in the house all the time. I'm trying to plan something fun before the kids go back to school in September...they wanted to go camping..i wanted to take them to Claws N Paws..we are going to Disney which is going to be wonderful..I will be taking lots and lots of photos. I can handle wait. We will be staying at Give kids the world and i hear that is a vacation in itself..this will be our first ever family vacation. I'm loving it : ) Well it's five a.m. and i need to get a few hours of sleep before i have to get up for my appointment...Can't be late!!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Intro

Hello and Welcome to my blog. My name is Amanda..I'm a wife to a wonderful husband and a mother to four beautiful children. My husband Clarence is my best friend / soul mate. My first born is Evan , he is five and is my only son. He loves sports.. Carissa is my first daughter and she is four. She is an old soul in a childs body, She is my CHD warrior. Caitlin is two years old and is the sweetest little girl and my youngest Shelby just turned one and is into everything. We reside in the great state of PA . I am a stay at home Mother and with four children under the age of five i am constantly on my feet but i wouldn't have it any other way. Welcome to my life...make sure to buckle up and i hope you enjoy the ride.